Rising Moon Midwifery

born at 2:58pm on December 15, 2006
Written by her mother, Summer Smith

I am usually very aware of the state of my body. I feel illness coming on early, I notice aches and pains that are caused by emotional pollutants, and I definitely have an astute awareness of how my body responds to different foods. Despite all of this, I completely missed the signs of impending labor. Silly me. And I was at 41 weeks! Jane, our Bradley class instructor/midwife kept saying 41 weeks and 1 day was the mode for first time moms. Still, I wasn't suspicious of those odd little feelings I was having. In retrospect, having to get up and walk around, stretch my back and use the bathroom every half hour the night before should have been a really obvious sign. But silly me thought, "This is just a bad night in the constantly uncomfortable end of pregnancy."

So I got up on Friday as usual, headed to the bathroom, sat and read for a bit, but nothing happened. This was weird because I am ultra regular, and I definitely had the urge. Now I realize that I had a baby deep in my pelvis, but at the time I was just annoyed and thought I was constipated. Jeffrey and I ate breakfast as usual, watched the Daily Show, and I started on a crossword puzzle while he used the computer. It was about 11:30 when I started having to change my position every few minutes to try to get comfortable. It was a very strange feeling of generalized discomfort around my back and lower belly, but I didn't think labor for a good 20 minutes. It wasn't until I really couldn't ignore the intermittent aches that I told Jeffrey that I thought these were contractions. He started watching the clock and rubbing my back, and we determined the pains were about four minutes apart. We called Jane (midwife) and left a message and then we called Kate (midwife), who answered and said they would start heading over to the house.

Jeffrey got in the shower with the intention of running to Whole Foods for a quick shopping trip, and I went up to the bedroom to lay down. Merle (midwife) had told me at the last prenatal visit to ignore it as long as possible and try to rest to save up energy. So I got in bed for a whole two minutes before the pain came back much stronger than before. I remember clutching the pillow very hard and thinking how weird a feeling this was. It's such a unique sensation of sharp squeezing under the belly button and around the sides of the back. Once they started becoming very powerful, I was on the floor leaning over onto a chair and against the bed. These just seemed to be the best positions despite the fact that they in no way eased the discomfort of the contractions. By the time Jeffrey was out of the shower, I was seriously worried because these pains were very intense and close together. It just did not seem like regular contractions could be this powerful. No one could do this for hours! I told Jeffrey that if this was just the beginning, I would not be doing this all day, and we were going to get drugs. Trying to relax and surrender was out of the question. Not being able to get a grip for a second was truly annoying. And on top of all that, I was starting to involuntarily push. I told Jeffrey that something was wrong because it was way too soon to be pushing. He assured me that it was all fine and normal and I was doing it right. Unfortunately, in my pain, I think I responded by yelling at him to not look at me. (Sorry honey!)

I just kept thinking about how much I wanted to lay down and rest. But I couldn't sit still. I had to keep moving too, so I went back and forth into the bathroom a few times before settling on the toilet. All the while, Jeffrey had me drinking water and was being supportive as best he could. I just couldn't stand to be touched at all or to hear voices during the pains, but I also wanted him nearby the whole time. At some point I got into a steady pattern of contractions that I moaned through, but I had completely lost track of time, so it's all a blur. I have no idea how long this went on for, and I don't really remember what it felt like. In between contractions I felt completely drunk and happy that it wasn't hurting at that moment.

I somehow ended up on the floor on hands and knees and Jane was suddenly there. She asked me how I was doing and I weakly said, "Uhhhh oookkkk uuuhhh." She put her hand on my back, and I think I yelled, "Don't touch me!" pretty loudly. At least Jeffrey knew it wasn't just him that I yelled at! Then it all went super fast. I heard Jane call for Kate; they put a bunch of plastic under me, and there we were, four people in a tiny bathroom, and me moaning really loudly and constantly pushing. Chris (Jeffrey's brother) was downstairs the whole time, frightened by all the noise I was making. I still was in a fog. I knew what was happening, but I was not completely with it.

I tried to push myself upright onto my knees at one point, but there was a huge hard baby head in my pelvis! I reached down and, sure enough, there was the top of a head coming out. I think it was one or two pushes before Jane said the head was all the way out. I thought I heard Jeffrey say, "Summer, she's so beautiful," and I kept saying how I couldn't believe it was happening so fast. Then Jane called Kate to come behind me and she did something and splash! there was a baby in her hands. (They only told me afterwards that the baby got her shoulder stuck in my pelvis and Kate had to free her. I guess they didn't want me to panic while it was happening. I'm pretty sure I was in such a fog that I couldn't have panicked about anything really. House on fire? George Bush declares war on Woodbury? Morrissey stopped by to say hello? Who cares, I'm in labor!) I've heard people say that the moment the baby is out all the pain stops and it's a complete relief. Boy are they right! I felt a huge amount of pressure during that last push and then it just didn't hurt anymore. It felt so good to not have that pain again!

I looked back and there was our little girl in Kate's hands. She was a little blue, but after some rubbing she pinked up. I looked up at Jeffrey, and he had the happiest look that I have ever seen. It was a mixture of amazement, joy, and love that is undoubtedly reserved for the moments after the birth of your child. In my stupor of labor I was not very aware of where he was or what he was doing, and I didn't really care at the time, but at that moment I was so glad to see his face and I felt a gush of love for him unlike I ever have before. I felt as if we both saw our child and saw each other and realized what an amazing moment we just shared. We really had made a baby, not just a big belly! Then I sat down and held her for the first time. I just stared at her and she at me. It was awesome. I didn't cry like I thought I would. I was just so happy to not be in pain anymore and to have my baby moving and breathing in my arms. It's all a bit shocking at first, but I had her and I had Jeffrey and the midwives and I felt safe and cared for.

They moved me to the bedroom and got me into a plastic-covered bed. That was a good precaution, too, because there was quite a bit of blood and goo and, eventually, a placenta. Jeffrey cut the cord just before the placenta came out. Boy, that was a great feeling. I finally had an empty uterus! Then it got a little hairy for a while. Kate had to do some stitches because I tore when the baby came out so fast. Then they took me to the bathroom to pee, and my blood pressure fell dangerously low, and I kept almost passing out. I was also still bleeding a lot. They forced me to eat and drink, and I accepted Jane's offer of a placenta smoothie in order to get some iron into me. I had wanted to eat the placenta from the beginning of the pregnancy anyway, so I'm glad that the situation called for it. No, I don't have secret fantasies about eating meat or being a cannibal, but I do appreciate that most animals eat theirs in order to retain nutrients and clean up after a birth. Being an animal, why shouldn't I do the same? It felt very natural to do so, and I'm proud to be able to say I ate my baby's placenta! After I had a little pee, it was back to bed. There was more bleeding so they gave me a shot of pitocin in the leg to make my uterus clamp down. That did the trick and, after some more food, the bleeding calmed down and I felt much better and more alert. I could tell that all of my color had gone out of my face and hands, but it wasn't completely unexpected given my usually low hemoglobin count. Soon, I was stable enough for long enough that the midwives departed.

All of the new grandparents stopped by for a few minutes to see the baby, and then Jeff and I began our first night of parenting which basically involved me holding the baby, trying to nurse her a little, and trying to eat and drink. I also peed what seemed like gallons during the course of the night and felt so much lighter in the morning! I lost somewhere around 35 pounds with the birth and all that pee. It is so much easier to breathe and walk!

So that's the story of Ein's homebirth. It was fast and furious but so very wonderful. I have zero regrets and a million reasons to celebrate. It was a tremendous experience of the power of nature and being a woman. I am so glad I made the homebirth choice.

I owe so much to Jeffrey for sticking with me through all of the trying times during the pregnancy and birth and for being fully invested in a homebirth, perhaps even more so than I given that it meant more work and worry for him. I also owe my life and my baby's life to our midwife Kate who not only freed Ein from her shoulder dystocia, but also stopped my heavy bleeding. Kate and Jane both did a tremendous job at the birth and took fantastic care of all of us. What a great group of women caring for other women. Thank goodness they do what they do.